What’s Your Mardi Gras Name? and Tequila
I wonder if I could go to FOX and be famous? LOL
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Your Mardi Gras Name is Homer Gustave |
 Allons! |
A fellow walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter,
and sees that it’s filled to the brim with $10 bills.
He guesses there must be more than ten thousand dollars in it.
He approaches the bartender and asks, ‘What’s with the money in the jar?’
‘Well… you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money and the keys to a brand new Lexus..’
The man certainly isn’t going to pass this up. And so he asks, What are the three tests? You must pay first… Those are the rules,’ says the bartender.
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender the $10 and the bartender stuffs it into the jar.
‘Okay,’ the bartender says, ‘Here’s what you need to do:
First – You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in a minute or less, and you can’t make a face while doing it.
Second – There’s a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands.
Third – There’s a 90-year old lady upstairs who’s never had sex…You have to take care of that problem!’
The man is stunned.
‘I know I paid my $10, but I’m not an idiot! I won’t do it!
You’d have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila, and then do all those other things…’
‘Your call,’ says the bartender……
‘But, your money stays where it is.’
As time goes on, and the man has a few more drinks, he finally says,
‘Where’s the damn tequila?’
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.
Tears stream down both cheeks… but he doesn’t make a face, and he did it in fifty-eight seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door, where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon the people inside the bar hear growling, biting, and screaming sounds… then nothing but silence!
Just when they think that the man surely must be dead he staggers back into the bar, with his shirt ripped open and there are scratches and he’s bleeding all over his body.
He says,
‘Now where’s that old woman with the bad tooth?’
Listen carefully to the directions and don’t trust your judgment when alcohol is involved
Hey, it’s only my opinon.
A Hui Hou
Ha ha ha ha. ….I love tequila , but I will not get drunk.
You have a great day, hun.
hugs
shakira
Do you ever eat the worm? I have several times…well drank it I suppose LOL
Have a great day as well 
OMG I just splut tea all over my keyboard reading that joke!
ROFLMAO!!! You and Sylvia need to form a club. LOL It was too funny
*cringing*
ROFLMAO!!!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, sh!t!! That I must tell to Bud. What a riot. Poor dog. LOLOLOLOL
And you….no, it can’t be. You’re definitely not a Homer!! I like my M G name tho —
Your Mardi Gras Name is Mellette Zenobia
Allons!
What’s Your Mardi Gras Name?
The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don’t Talk About Blogthings
LOL Mellette Zenobia I do hope that Bud enjoys LOL
Homer Gustave…pffft I agree
ROFLMAO! Man, you find THE best jokes. Thanks for the laugh, my friend…
Glad you enjoyed my friend.
Howdy Homer! (I actually know TWO Homers!) I’m Lougenia Acadia! Pleased to meetcha!
What a WONDERFUL story! LOVE the moral!
Howdy Lougenia…I loved the moral as well
ROFL I so needed that laugh this morning. That joke was way to funny.
Glad you enjoyed my friend
I’m cleaning my keyboard now!! I should know better than to be eating or drinking at my computer while reading your posts!! What a friggin’ hoot! Hey, and how about this for a new name? Zerilda Clotille!! Always start my day with a grin, giggle or belly laugh, thanks!!
Have a great day!
Sylvia
Well Zerilda Clotille I hope you keyboard is all clean. LOL Glad you enjoyed
I’m Elva Onezime!
Aloha Elva Onezime
I will now be known as Ida Avoyellos.
That was fun, and the story had a surprise ending.
I know, I probably should have seen it coming…but I didn’t!
I think I wiil stick with wodka!
Thanks pal
Wodka ROFLMAO!! That is just too funny Ida Avoyellos. I should have seen this coming as well. I didn’t either
I’m laughing so hard I have nothing to say.
WW – Toil and Trouble
Soooo you LOL
pffft, i don’t need no mardi gras name!
and ouch! to this joke – but it was hilarious!
(remember my 55 from a few weeks ago about the dogs who killed the owner? no fiction there – the poor beasts were all sexually abused)
LOL..someone have a bad day today? LOL I didn’t know that. That’s horrible
OMG What a joke! I think if I was the barkeeper…I’d give the guy the money!
So would I. LOL. Glad you liked.
The sight of the jar already filled with $10 bills should have told him the tests were impossible in the first place. Ah well.
My mardi gras name is Eulalie Onezime. No idea what is it. lol!
Aren’t some people just plain stupid? LOL. I love the name.
OMG!!! too funny!! fortunately I have learned NOT to drink or eat while reading my friends.
Your Mardi Gras Name is Sabine Delphine
Allons!
What’s Your Mardi Gras Name?
Blogthings: Our Quizzes Weren’t Written By Bored 12 Year Olds
Well Sabine I’m most definitely glad to hear that
LOL! That poor Pitbull!
Sophronia Ophelia
Love the name
Gustave, the first time I heard that joke, the woman was 19.
ROFLMAO!!! Too Funny
I think me too 
My name is Rosella Minerva
That was a baaaaaaddd joke, btw
Well Rosella…it was funny though LOL
Oh my ROFLMAO! That is so hilarious and true too. Where do you come up with this crap?!
LOL people send it to me in emails
LOL
Lucky pit bull!
Indeed sister…Indeed