Dear Joey
Twenty years ago, to the exact date and time of this post my life changed for ever. I have debated over and over in my head if I should make this public and share my feelings with the entire world to see and I thought “Damn straight I should.” You were and always have been the best part of my total existence. Never in my life has someone meant to me what you did. To this very day that still holds true. Life is funny that way.
It has been hard, especially in the beginning to not have you around. But over the years, time does heal. That doesn’t mean for one minute that I have ever stopped loving you, missing you and just wanting you to be by my side. But life does go on and we have to make the best of what we are dealt. It hasn’t been easy with the family. Some things have gotten so out of hand I wonder is it all worth it and I always come to the same conclusion. Yes! Some of the problems have been my fault. And some, yes equally, have been the families fault. We survive and make it through all the rough spots. That’s what family is all about.
Everyone is doing great on both sides of our families. The one thing that I so wish you could have seen is all the kids grow up and then have their own kids. It is something that I have and always will cherish. You would have loved all the young ones. My what a family this is. I also wish they could have all met you. They would have seen what I did and totally been in awe. All in all the good times have so out weighed the bad that is just warms my heart. However, with you gone, there will never be total warmth.
Sometimes that fateful day seems like just yesterday. I cannot believe for the life of me that it has been twenty years. Not one day passes that I don’t think of you. Want you. Need you. Cherish you. Love you. When this journey comes to an end our happiness, friendship and love will once more flourish side by side. I am enjoying this journey and am thankful for all that I have been through and experienced. It’s been the best. So until that day, you are forever in my heart, in my thoughts and with me.
My love to you always.
Me Ke Aloha
Hey, it’s only my opinion.
A Hui Hou
My dearest Thom, I’m overwhelmed by your very moving post to Joey and by the love you felt and feel. My heart goes out to you. I’m glad you posted this. Much love to you, my friend.
Sylvia
what can i say… i am deeply moved.
perhaps because i know the agony of loss all too well… a different kind of loss maybe but still, the feelings are much the same…
thank you for posting this. my heart goes out to you!
Wonderful post Thom – sorry that you’ve known such loss, but at the same time, knowing such love in the first place makes it all worth it in the end.
Huge hugs and love to you, big guy.
ahh love and loss – they make us what we are don’t they? joy and pain go hand in hand. i don’t know how you feel or felt, i only know my own feelings. but i’ve found sadness, loss and pain often turn the corner into such joy and love and often happiness. i think we’ve had both. and in that, i am comforted.
Thanks for sharing this. Funny, it’s so much easier for me to write things, than tell them face to face. But the bottom line is: as humans, we feel the need to share.
As good humans, we’re glad you shared with us.
XOXOXOXOXOX
Thom…
Love ya Brother…….G
I hope that writing this helps. It is loving and kind and for the world to see.
glad you could share with us
Moon smiles
Beautiful Tribute to your Joey Thom. Yes time does heal, and the hurting feeling leaves and only the Peaceful Memories remain.
A beautiful tribute, Thom.
http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/08/15/poetry-awards-4thursday-poets-rally-week-26-plus-more/
two awards on the bottom for you,
the most creative blogger award,
u r a rare friend award….
cheers!
Time lessons the sting of loss, but love and memories remain.
Thom, you were blessed to know a love this great. Many people don’t. Unfortunately, the grief of the survivor of such a relationship leaves a forever ache. My heart and my love are with you.
{{{hugs}}} sorry for your loss – I can’t even imagine it – hopefully sharing made you feel a bit better!!
{{{hugs}}}
TO ALL OF YOU: I want to thank you for all your wonderful comments and concern. I will cherish each and everyone of these comments and the friendships I have made through this blog forever. Let me assure you all I am fine. This is just something I had to do. I mean 20 years hits home for some reason. It’s been a crappy day actually but don’t we all have those? What I said in the post is so true and I’m very fortunate to have loved that way. It doesn’t happen often I don’t think but when it does it is something you NEVER forget. So anyway, thanks for all your care, concern, love and encouragement. I’m still my same old snarky ass self. It’s just I let my more sane side get the best of me today LOL
Mahalo
Thanks for sharing this beautiful post Thom. I’m sorry that you lost her and I hope you’re feeling better now that you’ve shared it with us.
have a great week my friend.
I’m glad you were finally free to share this Thom. I understand how we are hit head on with emotions, memories, and love like this when we least expect it. From what I’ve learned about you I think it would have been harder on him to have lost you…
I hope you understand what I’m expressing…
My Dear Thom,
Your heartfelt words brought tears to my eyes.I sure would like to give you a big hug….
*hugs*
Again, TO YOU ALL What a group of friends I have here on this blog. You all warm my heart a great deal and I’m a real lucky guy to have you all be a part of this blog and in turn a part of my life. Thank you so much again. And yes I do understand Ellen very much my friend. And all the hugs and tears…please I hope they are of joy. No sadness aloud here. We celebrate life. Mahalo again to you all
thom, i am at a loss for words right now… but i have to say something… or i will break down here.
i guess i took for granted the fact that behind that wacky side of yours is a person who has deep emotions too. that was evident in most of your comments in my blog. now i understand where all the wisdom, compassion and gentleness came from. you experienced a similar loss!
thom, isn’t it great to feel that kind of love even at least once in this lifetime? believe me, not everyone gets that lucky. you are so blessed.
because of your loss, you were able to give so much more. (does that make sense? i’m sure you know what i mean.) now you shine so brightly like the sun to everyone around you.
because of that loss, your eyes were opened to the real beauty and value of life.
it must have been difficult for you to open up and share this painful part of your life. but… don’t you feel so relieved that you can talk about it so easily now? thom, when i first wrote about my loss, it was such a LIBERATING feeling.
no sadness here, thom… it’s all pride, gladness and joy to have met a fellow life survivor. you made us all proud of you!
{{{hugsss}}}
bing
more {{{hugsss}}} for you friend…
that song… that song meant a lot to me… you left a nice comment when i featured that song in my blog. it all makes sense now.
“Not one day passes that I don’t think of you. Want you. Need you. Cherish you. Love you. When this journey comes to an end our happiness, friendship and love will once more flourish side by side. I am enjoying this journey and am thankful for all that I have been through and experienced. It’s been the best. So until that day, you are forever in my heart, in my thoughts and with me.”
these words resonate as they struck a sensitive chord here… i can’t help but shed tears…
i know this feeling so well :’( it is easy to say that we have moved on. but it is also at moments like this when we look back and feel that love again. nothing and no one compares. it feels good though that we can look back with a smile now.:)
life is complete because we were blessed to have experienced that kind of love.
blessings to you, my friend!
still crying… your fault!!! and i was supposed to get that much needed dose of laughter here… hmmmppph!
I was sitting here in front of my PC, and was thinking about what to write… but then I thought that there might be no words enough… So, I just want you to know that I carry you in my heart and it’s good to know that you have become the warm and strong person you are today. Hugs, love and blessings. xoxoxo
TO ALL AGAIN Yes it is good to experience this kind of love once in one’s life. It does make you a stronger person. It is so good to be carried in hearts as friends and be able to express yourself totally and not be judged. That’s how we should all be actually. With everything everyone has said, I am so in awe of you all and just glad that everyone took the time to leave a wonderful comment and express his/her feelings as well. Mahalo to you all.
Thom, that was a very moving tribute you paid to Joey. I know that was a terrible experience you went through and I think you have recovered and gone on with your life wonderfully well… I am so proud of you and your ability to put your thoughts on paper so beautifully. Joey was a wonderful person and your tribute is one of the most honest, heartfelt pieces i have ever read anywhere. I love you dearly. ma xoxoxoxoxxo
Thanks Ma You made me the person I am and I will never be able to thank you enough for that.
Love you too 
Thom, what a wonderful, heartfelt, bare tribute to your great love, Joey. How proud and touched he would be to read this, but of course he knew how you felt. I am so sorry that the last twenty years have been bereft – we all dream of growing old together. You will be much in my thoughts now and in the future. Hugs!
Thanks. Things are a okay. It’s just something I had to say for the 20 years.
My heart felt thanks for your comment 
what a wonderful post a tribute to someone who you felt deeply for
Thanks.
Dear Heart,
I cannot say anything that has not already been said by all of these people who have grown to love you on this blog. Even though there is a lot of silliness and fun on this blog, you are so supportive of your friends (be they e-friends or live & in person). Just a couple of posts between you and Quilly demonstrates that. This was a wonderfully beautiful tribute that you shared with us, and I am honored that you felt comfortable enough with us to do so.
Love You!
Mwah! xxoo
MWAH!! Love you too!! Mahalo so much for this. It means a great deal to me. And you Larisa hold a special spot in my heart.
you always will.
Wow Thom. I am speechless after reading this touching tribute. What lovely words to someone who was obviously amazing
Thanks
I see I am a couple of years late commenting on this post, but just saw the link for the first time at Google+. Incredibly moving and emotional entry. It brought tears to my eyes Thom, as I know the feeling all too well. You were so fortunate to have found each other and shared what time you had together. Thank you for sharing this with the world and in doing so helping keep Joey’s memory alive.
Your pal,
-Hank (from Google+)
Mahalo my friend. I really appreciate that you took the time to come and make a comment. There just comes a time in ones life that you need to say what your heart is speaking. This was one of those times. Mahalo again. You are a great friend and I appreciate it.